The online world is one big hub of information and tools, easy to understand once you are inside, but hard to figure out from the outside. How do you explain the different services, toys and tools to outsiders? How do you describe how you are spending your time online to the family or friends who are not into this whole tech stuff? Educate your relatives in an easy, non confronting way on how we spend our hours using the following list.

Blogging

• “I am keeping a log on things that are important to me / I am interested in / I share experiences with other about my interests.”
• “I write about stuff that others are interested in so I can earn an extra buck with my expertise.”
• “I am trying to earn a buck besides my work, but have to click on the adsense advertisments all by myself to get some money.
• “I like to spread my word, but nobody listens to me in real life.”
• “It’s like keeping a diary, without a lock, public for everyone to read, and it makes me warm and fuzzy if people know my secrets.”
• “I need attention, and can network with others who need attention as well.”
• “I think I can do this professionally and quit my job. In about 10 years.”
• “It’s a marketing tool. Even though I don’t have a product to sell.”

Multiplayer games

• “I am playing with my friends online just like meeting for a pickup game in the park.”
• “I train my social behavior and networking skills by taking part in the community and being in a Clan.”
• “I love to create things and create multiplayer modifications for my favorite game.”
• “Killing things was always one of my hobbies, but I ran out of cats and dogs.”
• “I heard gamers are good with girls, so I gave it a try.”
• “I love insulting newbs and banning people from my server who are better than me. You heard me mom?”
• “Don’t you think ogres are sexier than humans? Could you wear an ogre costumne next time we make out?”

Twitter

• “Twitter is like a public SMS.”
• “I can connect with friends from everywhere else.”
• “Twitter is one of those timesuckers I just can’t keep my finger off.”
• “Twitter enables me to broadcast interest findings to my friends without having to tell every single one.”
• “I can pretend to have more than 50 friends who actually care about what I tweet.”
• “It’s easy following all those celebrities, it’s easier than nordic stalking, I’ll visit their windows anyways.”

Life Hacking

• “I try to optimize my life to have more time for fun & important things.”
• “I batch everything to be able to waste more time on something else.”
• “I hate my work and want it to get done as fast as possible.”
• “I can’t stand clutter and chaos and have found loads of people who share my fetish.”
• “I thought hackers was da shit, but I am not good at math or coding.”

Affiliate Marketing

• “I do telemarketing, on the internet.”
• “I sell stuff from others through my web projects to get a share of their profits.”
• “I drive traffic to products that are popular and spend the money on Bling Bling.”
• “I sell this diet shit that people are so pissed off about.”
• “Want some snake oil?.”
• “I know how you can make a few bucks in between, just sign up for those networks under my affiliate link.”
• “No that’s not a snowball system. You would have to be a fed to call it something like that.”